The Fe-line Frock Swap is back!

Hi lovely Fe-liners!

Well we’re already in September (I know, how did that happen?!) but fear not! September is a great month to set yourself new goals and resolutions that may have gone astray over the summer. It’s a perfect time to refocus and plan for the season ahead.

There is something really thrilling about the changing seasons, the golden hues in the trees and the sense of anticipation of new beginnings. We like to think of the year as having two ‘New Years’, January and September. It’s always hard to stick to resolutions in January as the weather is grim and the days are short and all you want to do is hibernate; so September is a great chance to reboot and set a resolution or two, while the sun is (hopefully) shining and the eventfulness of summer ebbs away.

Resolutions can be really simple things: like taking the time to read. We have just launched a Fe-line Book Club which is a great way of exploring new titles that you may have not picked up previously. If you think this would be a great September resolution for you then why not sign up to our Book Club mailing list to get all the latest info. What’s more, we will be chatting and reviewing books online so you don’t have to be Oxford-based to join in. It’s a great way to get back into reading or to motivate you to finish a book, and Team Fe-line definitely need that, so what better motivation than the chance to chat with lots of lovely like minded women! If you didn’t catch Debs’ blog all about the book club you can find it here.

Another great way of feeling renewed and refreshed for the season ahead is to have a wardrobe over haul. There are some great trends out there this season, and even if you incorporate just one look you can freshen up your winter wardrobe. The best way to do this is to have a clothes sort out, which is always very therapeutic in itself. Work out if your winter staples are still good to go and if not, add them to a list of items you want to replace or purchase. It’s always good to have a pair of boots for day and another for evening wear, and lots of layers, so jumpers, cardigans, scarves, as well as a winter coat and a parka or rainproof jacket. Once you’ve worked out what you need make a priority list and add any extra items that would be great for adding a new twist to your look, like scarves, hair accessories, a new dress or a winter coat. By prioritising which are the most important things you need to buy you won’t go shopping aimlessly and you can budget based on what you need the most.

The other good reason for having a sort out and making a list, dear Fe-liners, (and this is the good bit!) is that you can work out which items are perfect Frock Swap material! We will be holding our first Fe-line Frock Swap of 2014 on 20th September at the Old Museum in Oxford. It’s a great way to part with those pieces that you may have only worn once or twice, but haven’t come out of the wardrobe in a while, and swap them for some exciting new pieces that might be on your list of Autumn must haves, or be perfect for freshening up your look for this season. The Frock Swap is only £2 so it’s a perfect way to try something new, a great September resolution!

 

As well as the Swap, there will be a whole host of exciting things going on. Entrance to the event is completely free and there will be a great selection of stalls including Kinship of Oxford, Ladies Who Lunch Jewellery, , and One for Sorrow, plus workshops from Katie Dyer on Autumn/Winter style and making the most of those Frock Swap finds, and Debs will be holding the first Fe-line Book Club meeting at 2pm, for our book After I Left You by Alison Mercer, with Alison also making an appearance at 3pm. On top of all that there will also be a pop-up bar and café! It’s going to be a corker, so get your swapping pile ready and join us for lots fun and frolics.

Love & frock swapping,

 

 

 

The 10 lessons I learned from Caitlin Moran

As I sat in Vicar Street theatre surrounded by a sea of women and a smattering of men, butterflies danced the tango in my stomach. From the moment I first read How to be a Woman I adored Caitlin Moran. She was everything I wanted to be: a cool, quirky, kick-ass feminist with amazing hair. When she took to the stage my eyes filled with tears – what can I say, I am a little ball of emotion. During her time on stage she spoke openly about a range of subjects, from her abortion to masturbating over Benedict Cumberbatch. The most memorable part of the show (apart from getting to meet her in person, hug her and have her compliment my hair, tattoos and makeup – I had to elbow that in there somehow) was when she instructed us all to stand on a chair and shout “I am a feminist”. If you’ve never done it before, you must it’s very liberating! It’s funny, a few years ago I would have struggled to identify as a feminist and yet here I was standing on a chair shouting it for the world to hear, all because of Caitlin Moran. Over my years of avidly reading her articles, interviews and books I realise that the importance of identifying as a feminist isn’t the only lesson she has taught me. So here I present to you some of the lessons I have learned from Caitlin Moran.
 

1. Sexism isn’t as obvious as it used to be.

Modern sexism is quite cunning and so people can get away with it because you’re not quite sure if they are being sexist, being stupid or if you just don’t have a sense of humour. Caitlin puts it brilliantly: instead of thinking about it as sexism think about it in terms of politeness. Instead of calling people out for being sexist twonks let them know you found that comment quite rude. The bottom line is someone will argue that they were not being sexist or that you were being “oversensitive” but it’s hard to argue against bad manners. So let’s all work on being a little nicer and much more polite to each other.

2. Our cultural mindset has become so warped we spend far too much time and money worrying about body hair.

I remember teaching a sex ed program to a group of teenage boys and part of the program involved showing them pictures of some STDs. All of the boys freaked out and recoiled in horror  at one particular picture. Not because of the symptom of the infection but because they had never seen a vagina with hair on it and they had no idea what they were looking at! I’m not saying hair removal is evil, instead just think about your motivations for it. Do you do it because it makes you feel better or because you feel like it’s expected?

3. You can enjoy porn and still be a feminist.

Caitlin speaks openly about watching amateur porn and enjoying it. Porn isn’t bad, but the industry right now is sexist and gives unrealistic expectations in relationships, the role of women and what they should look like.

4. Your period is not a dirty shameful secret.

Growing up, I lived in a household where everything was open for discussion. However, my friends were forced to hide all elements of their bodily functions from male members of the family. I’m not sure why they never struck me as being of a nervous disposition. I’m not saying I’m gonna go full on “free flow” embracing my period but I’m certainly not going to whisper about it in hushed tones for fear of upsetting the men folk with non-sex related vagina talk. Or worse still because that is not how ladies should behave.

5. The perfect shape is “human shaped”.

Are you human shaped? Congratulations you have the perfect shape. Fat is not the worst thing you can be and anything that means you feel pressured to torture and deprive your body is bollocks.

6. If the boys don’t have to do it then some sexist bullshit is afoot.

Has the government laws that dictate what happens with a mans testicles? Do men fear walking alone at night? Is there an assumption that a man will change his surname when he gets married? You get the picture.

7. Be proud of your roots.

Caitlin speaks openly about coming from a working class family and how she will always identify as working class. When people become educated and/or successful they are adopted by the middle class. Which by default means that there will be no aspirational figures or voices for the working class. I was always secretly ashamed of being from a lower class family because those were the messages I received externally. There was no pride to be gained from being from a separated single parent family. However, now thanks to Caitlin I embrace my past and happily declare that I am working class and will never be anything else.

8. Children are your choice.

You are no better or worse than anyone else because you choose to have them or not. You have an inherent worth already, you do not need to have a child to become a complete woman. If you do choose to have a baby it is just that, your choice, go for it if it is what you want – I hear it’s incredibly fulfilling. But you are not a child hating monster if you do not want one of your own.

9. Abortion is also your choice.

If you think that you won’t be able to love a child the way they should be loved, and if you can’t give them the physical, social, financial and emotional support they need then you can choose not to have the baby. Or if you are just not ready or whatever reason you have then you do not have to have a baby. And you don’t have to feel guilty about it, either.

10. Being a feminist does not translate to being a man-hater.

We don’t want to overthrow the men and rule the world, we just want our share. We don’t want them to go away, we just want to work alongside them with the same opportunities and benefits. Is that too much to ask?

I  hope you enjoyed this post and that it has  inspired you to read Caitlin Moran’s books. If/ when you do, I would love to hear all about it!