Brave Holiday

Every year I get an enviable amount of time off from work for the summer. Every year I do very little with this time. I relax, I spend time with my family and friends, be domestic, eat and drink to my hearts content. All very worthy ways to spend your time, however this year I decided I was going to challenge myself a bit more and dedicate my holiday to being a little more brave. I wholeheartedly acknowledge that none of these acts are quite on a scale with bear wrestling but y’know, baby steps.

 

Challenge 1- Go Sleeveless 

This simple sentence strikes fear into the hearts of women everywhere. The very idea that your upper arms could be visible by other humans would cause many to break out in a cold sweat. This summer I decided that I was not going to be held back by a part of my own body. I won’t lie I was spurred on by the fact that I had recently had a tattoo session on my upper arm and wearing sleeves would just have been plain uncomfortable. So I braved it, I stepped out of my car sans jacket and guess what happened- nothing. I wish I had a marvellous story about how I inspired some people to do something wonderful or I prompted a reaction of some sort from somebody but no. I had a lovely lunch with my mother, chatted to a few people, some we knew and some we didn’t. This simple act made me question what the hell I was so afraid of all along? So I implore you all to embrace your niggly areas and show them off with pride because I promise you, everybody else is far too concerned with hiding their own niggles to even take yours into consideration.

 

Challenge 2- Be Creative

For quite a while my blog hasn’t been inspiring me quite the way it used to. I consistently felt pressure to write something and at the same time I felt guilty because I knew people were taking the time to read it and I wasn’t honouring that time.  So I took a long hard look at my blog. I wrote down all of the reasons I felt it wasn’t working, what was working and how I could progress. After much soul searching, planning and pondering I finally decided that my real calling would be to write a Sex and Body Positive Blog. I will always love fashion and makeup but there are plenty of bloggers out there who do it so very well. It was silly to put myself under pressure to be like others when I had my own unique insights to share. That and I know I will always be positive about talking about sex and sexuality as well as body positivism so there is no fear of me running out of things to talk about. As well as being more creative I decided that it was time to invest in my own creativity. If I wanted others to believe in me, it was time I started believing in my own abilities so I invested in my own domain name. This was a brave new step for me but I felt so much better having made that investment in myself and now I have a website I am absolutely proud to call my own.  Rebelle-ution is still only a baby but it too will grow in time and I can’t wait to see what it will grow into. To celebrate my brand new website I also bought myself a brand new laptop. I have spent the last 3 years working off of a tiny netbook which has tested my patience every step of the way. I will always have a fondness for the little purple machine but now I have a bigger, faster, stronger purple device to assist me with my writing. Consequently, I also swear much less when writing.

 

Challenge 3- Wearing Something Different

I am the undisputed queen of black clothing. I wear black to everything. It’s not because I am trying to hide away, I have purple hair, I’m not going to hide anywhere. I just find that black is practical, stylish and can easily transition from casual to formal. I also noticed that I have stopped looking for colours when shopping. So when it came to a family event I decided it was time to branch out and find something that wasn’t black. Alas, I was on a budget so this stretched the challenge a little further. However I did find a pretty tea dress, in my size and was not black. Ok, it was a purple shade of grey with pink love hearts, it was hardly a rainbow bright dress but it wasn’t black and I loved it. It was also nice to be able to differentiate myself in a photograph and actually see my body instead of a sea of black layering.

Challenge 4- Be Selfless 

All too often people, myself included, put themselves out there because they crave recognition. This holiday, I undertook a number of tasks to help others just to be helpful to them without any gain to myself. I won’t discuss these acts because that would be completely counter productive. However I will tell you about helping the dog to overcome her fear of water. Our Labrador Lilly is absolutely terrified of water. When she was a puppy my sisters genius of an ex-boyfriend thought it would be a great idea to throw her into a lake to teach her how to swim. It didn’t, it did teach her that water is scary and is to be avoided. Since then she has been absolutely terrified of all forms of water, heavy rain, being washed, even her water bowl being filled. So instead of having the poor creature a nervous wreck around water I decided it was time to take her swimming. Obviously this took place over a number of visits to the water and involved me going into the water with the dog but I am happy to say that she is much less scared of the water now. Just this morning when we went to the river she trotted into the water of her own accord and when we went walking in the river she even wagged her tail a few times. I realize this isn’t a huge deal for most of you and many of you will have proof that I am a mental case but I couldn’t be prouder of my furry niece.

Challenge 5- Putting Myself out There

The biggest thing I did this summer was to put my money where my mouth is and put myself out there. The first thing I did was to contact an Adult Toy and Lingerie Company I admire and I told them all the reasons that I wanted to work for them. They agreed we would be a good fit and now I am a sex educator for Canoodle.ie. There are a number of other organisations I have also been in contact with to discuss collaborative partnerships and I can’t go into details yet but so far it is looking like we will be working together on projects in the future. An artist I admire put out a call looking for full figured folks to pose for paintings. So I put my name forward and then wrote a post explaining my motivations for doing so. I received a huge amount of positive responses from people across the world who shared their stories of bravery and inspiration. I was truly overwhelmed by the number of people who were influenced by one piece of writing. For me it just showed how, if you take a leap of faith and put yourself out there, that people can react in the most amazing unexpected ways.

 

Ok so my holiday didn’t result in a whirlwind romance and I certainly didn’t get a tan but I did get something that will last so much longer. I will be returning from my break a whole lot braver. Like I said these steps weren’t astounding but like teaching Lilly to swim they took a little but of time and a little bit of bravery and one day we will look back at this whole process and wonder what we were so afraid of in the first place. So please fe-liners go, do, be brave! Challenge yourself! No matter how small you perceive that effort to be you’re still more free than those  too frightened to try. I wanna see you be brave.

 

 

 

 

The Fe-line Frock Swap is back!

Hi lovely Fe-liners!

Well we’re already in September (I know, how did that happen?!) but fear not! September is a great month to set yourself new goals and resolutions that may have gone astray over the summer. It’s a perfect time to refocus and plan for the season ahead.

There is something really thrilling about the changing seasons, the golden hues in the trees and the sense of anticipation of new beginnings. We like to think of the year as having two ‘New Years’, January and September. It’s always hard to stick to resolutions in January as the weather is grim and the days are short and all you want to do is hibernate; so September is a great chance to reboot and set a resolution or two, while the sun is (hopefully) shining and the eventfulness of summer ebbs away.

Resolutions can be really simple things: like taking the time to read. We have just launched a Fe-line Book Club which is a great way of exploring new titles that you may have not picked up previously. If you think this would be a great September resolution for you then why not sign up to our Book Club mailing list to get all the latest info. What’s more, we will be chatting and reviewing books online so you don’t have to be Oxford-based to join in. It’s a great way to get back into reading or to motivate you to finish a book, and Team Fe-line definitely need that, so what better motivation than the chance to chat with lots of lovely like minded women! If you didn’t catch Debs’ blog all about the book club you can find it here.

Another great way of feeling renewed and refreshed for the season ahead is to have a wardrobe over haul. There are some great trends out there this season, and even if you incorporate just one look you can freshen up your winter wardrobe. The best way to do this is to have a clothes sort out, which is always very therapeutic in itself. Work out if your winter staples are still good to go and if not, add them to a list of items you want to replace or purchase. It’s always good to have a pair of boots for day and another for evening wear, and lots of layers, so jumpers, cardigans, scarves, as well as a winter coat and a parka or rainproof jacket. Once you’ve worked out what you need make a priority list and add any extra items that would be great for adding a new twist to your look, like scarves, hair accessories, a new dress or a winter coat. By prioritising which are the most important things you need to buy you won’t go shopping aimlessly and you can budget based on what you need the most.

The other good reason for having a sort out and making a list, dear Fe-liners, (and this is the good bit!) is that you can work out which items are perfect Frock Swap material! We will be holding our first Fe-line Frock Swap of 2014 on 20th September at the Old Museum in Oxford. It’s a great way to part with those pieces that you may have only worn once or twice, but haven’t come out of the wardrobe in a while, and swap them for some exciting new pieces that might be on your list of Autumn must haves, or be perfect for freshening up your look for this season. The Frock Swap is only £2 so it’s a perfect way to try something new, a great September resolution!

 

As well as the Swap, there will be a whole host of exciting things going on. Entrance to the event is completely free and there will be a great selection of stalls including Kinship of Oxford, Ladies Who Lunch Jewellery, , and One for Sorrow, plus workshops from Katie Dyer on Autumn/Winter style and making the most of those Frock Swap finds, and Debs will be holding the first Fe-line Book Club meeting at 2pm, for our book After I Left You by Alison Mercer, with Alison also making an appearance at 3pm. On top of all that there will also be a pop-up bar and café! It’s going to be a corker, so get your swapping pile ready and join us for lots fun and frolics.

Love & frock swapping,