We have a choice

 

Hello Fe-liners. How are you on this fine morning? Any news? I have some news myself… I am changing jobs.

I appreciate people change jobs everyday and it’s no biggie, but I’m finding it ironic that 2013 was set to be my year of change, whilst 2014 is my year of choice – yet there’s still a fair bit of change happening. This means I am choosing change and that, I tell you, is a great feeling.

Change is a big thing for a lot of people, myself included. That said, I did move countries by myself without knowing a soul in my new destination (like millions of others); I also moved from Bristol to Oxford only 18 months later and had to start all over again. So… I can do change! Oh yeah!

So what is it that made those changes more bearable? They were changes I chose to pursue. No matter how hard it was to leave my family and friends (several times!), I chose that change. After a lot of tears and a rough few days, I settled into happiness in my new life and made the most of each adventure. As a nostalgic creature, I miss what was, while thoroughly enjoying what is.

That is part of the reason I chose choose as my word for 2014 – because it’s an empowering word that makes me feel like I can move mountains and reach for the stars. Because I can, even if it’s all inside me! And so can you.

The other reason was that I believe life is made of choices; we may not like the options at our disposal, but (more often than not) we can choose one. As Epictetus put it, “we cannot choose our external circumstances, but we can always choose how we respond to them”. Wise man, very wise.

For me, changing jobs became about choosing to change jobs. And that made all the difference in dealing with the hard bits – leaving friends and colleagues I love, coping with that cold belly feeling of starting something new, wondering about my new colleagues… Leaving me free to enjoy the good bits – I wanted this change and the new job; I chose this and I will be fine.

Why am I sharing this? Two reasons. Firstly, I wanted to share something personal and open up to this community that shares so much; something important to me that showed my fears but also how I overcome them. Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, I wanted to share how being reminded I have a choice makes me happier.

We make choices everyday, from when to get out of bed after the alarm goes off (about 15 minutes for me!), to how long we take in the shower, or what we have for breakfast; all of this before we even leave the house. Ultimately, all of these choices – together with bigger ones – shape our life and who we are. Having choice as my word for 2014 is constantly reminding me that I, too, have a choice and that makes me ever so happy. I guess I really embrace (and need) that feeling of empowerment that comes with having a choice. And I hope you do too

Love and choices,

 

 

 

Inspiration: from zero to full in 5 steps

Hello Fe-liners! How’s spring treating you? It’s early morning for me and I’m sipping coffee at my table, watching the garden and musing over all the work it needs doing to make it perfect for us, yet I love it and the peace it gives me, just the same.

For the first time over the last six months of writing here, I had no clue what I wanted to write about. There were things I could write about and as per usual, I brainstormed my thoughts with my usual crew, but when I sat down to write a few days ago, things didn’t flow; at all. Yes, I could write about those topics, but I didn’t want to. There was no particular reason for this, I just wasn’t feeling it, you know?

Coming up with ideas on what to write is not easy, nor is it difficult. It just is. Sometimes you have loads of ideas, some which you can use at a later date, others which will be lost forever in that hole called perfect timing (or lack of), and some which will see daylight and become a project or post or whatever you want to make of them. Other days, you really have no ideas left at all, for anything (perfect ironing day or spring clean weekend). And other days yet, posssibly my least favourite of the lot, you have ideas, plenty of, but you fancy none and don’t feel like writing about any, you just want to write. What to do then?

My first starting point was good (old?) Google. I searched how I could overcome my own lack of flair and then write about something totally unrelated. Turns out there’s plenty of information out there on how to overcome writer’s block and more information yet on what to write about (fascinating to me, this was!), but none which really spoke to me. What I found was too technical or too formal or too impersonal; I wanted something from the heart, guiding me through my own stumble and into writing. And then it came to me – I’ve been here before and I’ve gone through it. What did I do then? What worked for me then? Would others find it useful too? So I decided to walk you through my process, if you’re ever stuck between your life and your writing commitments or desires.

Fresh air. And a walk.

I absolutely love fresh air. It revitalises me and always makes me smile. It also generally means I’ve stepped away from my computer and gone for a walk or a little wander around the garden. I give myself the freedom to think about anything I fancy or nothing at all. I make an effort to absorb said fresh air and my surroundings and just enjoy switching off.

Clean. Or tidy.

I read this sentence on procrastination that really resonated with me. I‘m not a procrastinator I’m just extremely productive at unimportant things. This is genius! And whilst feeling uninspired is not necessarily procrastinating, I think we can address it in the same way. So I do. I get all the jobs done around the house, fantastic for the place and the mind (a big score in my book!). I also make a point of tidying my work space, whatever it may be at that particular moment; an uncluttered desk makes for a clear mind.

Do what makes you tick.

Photography really inspires me. When my writing gets a bit stuck, for whatever reason, I pick up my camera. Sometimes I just hold it there, thinking of what I could photograph right now, without moving; I press the shutter and something clicks inside me too. Then I get moving with it, I let my photographic eye guide me, the more random the better. And without me knowing quite how, words come to me, thoughts and feelings and all this world of possibilities. True story. So know what makes you click inside and let it loose!

Fill the page.

When I was writing my MSc thesis, I started by staring at this absolutely blank word document for what felt like ages. A very good friend of mine said to me then: just write something. Write a post for your blog, make a list of projects you want to tackle when this is all over, write a personal journal entry, just write something. His point was that nothing is as daunting as that empty white paper or screen; nothing. Once words appear, more words can appear – much like a dance floor… it only takes one person there to ensure others will follow.

Be honest with yourself.

Having too much choice, or too many ideas, can be as intimidating as having none at all. When I have a specific topic to write about or brief to write to, the steps above get my writing juices going. But what happens when I don’t and I have all these cool ideas going around, but none which I feel passionate about? I just admit it to myself and accept that however great an idea may be, it’s not necessarily what works for me right now, and that is ok. Right now, I want to absorb this magical light coming through my window, hold my camera and step into the garden to capture it all. And I want to tell you that that is what I’ll be doing, because it’s making me happy.

Hope you find this post useful, Fe-liners; as useful as I have found writing it