Don’t be a hater

To me, Fe-line is about women sharing ideas, making friends and learning something new. Oh, and having fun along the way. In general, this is my attitude towards feminism in general, and I suppose I could go as far as to say my attitude towards life. Have fun, make friends, learn something new and try to do a bit of good.

However, we are all aware that not everyone has this opinion, from the mean girl down the street, the woman who sneers at you when you don’t quite manage that last mile on the treadmill or the frenemy who loves to remind you that you’re the only single one at the party. From the people we see every day, to the people we read about in the paper – trolling, celebrity spats, whatever – sometimes people can be unkind.

As you are aware, I write about ethical fashion, beauty and lifestyle. It’s something I care about and hope I can inspire others to care about too. Although I try to make ethical choices where possible, I don’t expect others to always follow my lead nor do I force anyone to do so. However, I recently received a spate of criticism about my interests, because I was wearing a dress from ASOS. ‘ASOS isn’t ethical’, I was told. I am aware of this and although they do in fact have a whole section dedicated to ethical clothing, this was a standard ASOS dress – fabulous in my opinion because it has zebras on. My entire ethical fashion premise was subsequently picked apart and I was condemned a hypocrite and fraudster.

One of the most unethical things to do with my wardrobe now I am trying to be eco and socially conscious, would be to throw out everything and start from scratch. Why would I waste clothes I care about, that I love, that suit me very well? Why would I set myself up to have to purchase a whole new wardrobe when I have neither the time, inclination nor money to do so? Furthermore, ethical fashion is not about creating extra demand for clothes that we do not need. That would result in greater resource use which damages our planet. It’s about creating ethical choices for when there is a need for an item, say a new dress; not to ignite unnecessary spending on items we don’t need.

This was all repeated to said prosecutors, and was thankfully received well. Case dismissed. The incident did however leave me feeling very uncomfortable and frankly rather upset. Why has a stranger come to me to pick apart my decisions, that in no way infringe on their rights, choices or fun, and tried to make me look bad? I am lucky, that within the ethical fashion community people like this are very rare; as we are all bonded over our similar interests and objectives, we tend to all become friends rather quickly. In some ways, that is like the women I have encountered thanks to Fe-line; women I am proud to be associated with and happy to work alongside.

Ethical fashion is about widening choices, trying to make a difference, and giving women (and men) the opportunity to use their style to make changes for the better. It aims to educate, support and enlighten people about their style choices, and present them with the information with which to make better choices, should they wish. Somewhat like the purpose of Feline.

All in all, if you are interested in ethical fashion – whether you think you’d like to incorporate it into your wardrobe, or simply read up on it – then please do get involved (Google Sass Brown, or Wear No Evil to start with!) and remember, you have the right and privilege of being who you want to be, and no one, NO ONE, can take that away from you, regardless of the colour of your shoes, or whether you like dresses from ASOS with Zebras on.

 

 

Inspiration from Mexico

I have spent the last few weeks in Mexico studying sustainable tourism and development. For those of you who follow my other blog Bexceptional you’ll have seen that I’ve spread my time across different communities and locations, working on environmental and cultural issues. A few things have been bought to my attention repeatedly, and I thought I could share them with you to see if they strike the same chord with you as they did with me.

Firstly, when I told everyone I was coming to Mexico, alone, they freaked out. They told me I’d be shot or be sold into drug trafficking. I am pleased to report that I have not met one unpleasant person here, everyone has been fantastically kind and welcoming – and very patient with my incomprehensible Spanish! This has taught me that you should never judge a person, place or idea by what the media tells you. Obviously, take care, but don’t just assume that because something is different or unknown it must be dangerous. Next time you build an opinion on someone or something based on generalised information, take another look. You may be proved pleasantly incorrect.

Secondly, take every opportunity. I have met some of the most wonderful people here, and have made some friends for life. In England, I often find that we are quite guarded and reserved, not wanting to put ourselves out of our way to try something new. We are (myself included) too busy with our schedules or worried about commitments. Make friends, share your knowledge and say yes. I wouldn’t have been caught in a giant rainstorm on a bicycle with no brakes or danced the night away listening to Senegalese music on a beach if I’d said ‘no thanks, I’m a bit tired’. Just say yes

Take the path less trodden. Next time you book a day trip or a holiday, remember that tourism is a two way experience. The people and place you visit experience the impacts of your visit, just as much as you experience the new place and new experiences. Although lying on a beach is glorious, why not learn something new, or take a day trip that benefits other people. You could still lie on a beach, but perhaps a beach where locals are employed so they are lifted from poverty or where the water and waste are sustainably managed, protecting the environment. Little changes make the world of difference to those with very little.

Finally; reflect. Take a minute, stop and embrace where you are, who you are and count your blessings. I am particularly guilty of focussing on the negative, worrying that the here and now isn’t perfect because I’m a bit fat, or because I’m going to be busy next week and I’m worried. Stop it right now, and just appreciate that in this exact moment, you are safe, happy and have a world of opportunity around the corner. Trust me, it does a world of good.