How to be more confident, don’t we all need to know this? Well last night the Fe-line women of Oxford got together to discuss this very topic at our Women’s group Word of Mouth. We were joined by two amazing speakers, Katie Waistell and Hannah Jago.
Hannah and Katie have both left abusive relationships and told equally moving and touching stories of how these relationships damaged their confidence and how they had to work hard to rebuild their confidence.
Katie has just released a book, How to Leave a Bully, which is a step by step guide of how to leave an abusive relationship. She talked about how her relationship had affected her self worth and inner confidence. When she left her husband she described how she was on fire and everything was hers, but this brought new challenges; being a single mum, dating and a new job.
Katie took the audience through how she found ways of dealing with her new life and facing her fears. Katie’s big tip for being more confident is be prepared and visualising a situation, imagine doing it several times from start middle to end. Katie’s other top tip is never lose your sense of self, she described that in her job she had to repeat to herself that she knew more about that job than anyone else and no one else could know as much as she did.
Hannah Jago runs her own business, Sago Jago. She has a similar story to Katie but after leaving her relationship she found solace in alcohol and used alcohol as a confidence replacement. Hannah has now been sober for two years and was able to reach this point by reintroducing what she loved into her life: music, art, and her business.
One of my favourite tips from Hannah was about not holding on to things and allowing yourself to let go. If you hold on to the negative things this will knock your confidence. Things will go wrong in life but let go and say: ‘today was not a good day, but tomorrow will be better.’ My other favourite part of her talk was she got an audience member to tell her what she was afraid of when speaking on the telephone. She asked her: “what is the worst thing that can happen?” When the audience member actually thought about it it wasn’t so bad!
Last night was amazing in so many ways. Firstly a group of women getting together and talking about their fears and working out solutions is an amazing step forward to feeling more confident. Secondly women like Katie and Hannah come across as very confident but they have had to work at it, analyse their fears and find their own survival tactics, confidence can be learnt, you can be more confident!
And thirdly I related with so much of last night because I also lost my voice in my late teens and early twenties. At this time of my life I had no confidence whatsoever and completely lost my identity. I had a very warped opinion of myself and was very very harsh on myself about the way that I looked. People say to me now “it’s OK for you because you are really confident,” but like Katie and like Hannah I have had to learn ways to build confidence.
For me Fe-line Women has been my saviour. I get to meet awe inspiring women who have taught me how to look at the world differently, told me to be kind to myself, told me not to see failure as a bad thing and told me I am good. I have been able to find my voice, literally (hiya everyone) and I am doing what I am meant to and I am good at it. Finding this strong base line has made me able to be more confident because if I fall, I know I have a strong group of people who will put me back on my feet and not kick me in the mud!
Love and finding your voice,
P.S The next Word of Mouth is 21st May (a week earlier than normal): Make the media work for you with Jo Thoenes from BBC Oxford and Catherine Warrilow from Seriously PR.
With only a few days to go until the next Fe-line Frock Swap, the boot of my car is overflowing with clothes. Yesterday my task was to sort through what I have collected from friends. I am always amazed by the awesome stuff we get for the swap but I have to say this might be our best one ever and I haven’t even seen what the rest of you have to swap yet! We have Topshop tops, Oasis dresses, jeans, beautiful frocks and men’s shirts. There is a really good mix of sizes, genders and styles, there really is something for everyone.
The weather was so beautiful yesterday I thought I would take some pictures of what will be up for grabs on Saturday.
Take a look at the Fe-line Women Facebook page to see more pictures of the amazing clothes we have! You really can get your Summer wardrobe for only £2. We will be swapping from 12:30-6:00pm at the Big Society on Cowley Road, just turn up with your unwanted clothes. You can also get your nails done for Saturday night as nail technician, Vicky-Mae, will be joining us. For more information visit the Frock Swap event page.
Love and Swishing,